Awesomeness Carry Ons

To be awesome you have to be equipped. So, this week I'm going to let you in on what I always keep handy in order to best equip myself for an unpredictable yet totally expected legendary night. You may be dreading the idea of having to carry around everything you'll need, but never fear, your awesomeness carry ons can be safely stored in a suit for today's active Bro on the go. You see when people look at you they will see a Italian wool handcrafted into a beautifully made suit (hopefully), but said suit will also secretly double as storage. 

Shirt Pocket- A condom. A lot of men keep their condoms in their wallet but this is a big no-no as this will damage them.

Shirt Collar- The tie. A beautiful waterfall of silk flowing from your neck. Why does this count as an awesomeness carry on? A tie can also me used to tie hands to bedposts. Yeah.

Right Sleeve- Colourful Rope. Magic's awesome.

Left Sleeve- A magic bouquet of flowers. There's nothing more romantic than flowers, so why not purchase magic flowers that can be pulled out of your sleeve.

Right Trouser Pocket- A smart phone. Load up your smart phone with the get psyched mix, the Bro Code, Bro on the Go, a fake phoning system to get you away from needy chicks and anything else you may need.

Left Trouser Pocket- Air cushioned playing cards. None of that plastic coated crap. Playing cards are universally fun no matter who you're with. From Blackjack to Dou Dizhu, the good times never stop. And of course lets not forget magic tricks.

Inner left Breast Pocket- A wallet. Your wallet should contain change and a Chinese credit card. Keeping a wallet in your back pocket is uncomfortable when you sit down. This pocket should also contain a flask of single malt scotch, for obvious reasons.

Inner Right Breast Pocket- Dice. Ever find yourself in and argument with your Bro about which one of you should do an uncomfortable task such as jumping on the friend grenade? Well leave the problem in the hands of chance. A pen and a small pad. You never know when you'll need these to write down a girls number or give her yours. 

Waist- Nothing. Not even your keys, come on, nobody likes a Dominic.