Wedding Goggles

I often get asked 'Ryan, where am I most likely to get laid?'. The answer? A wedding. See every chick at a wedding is wearing Wedding Goggles, these make them more desperate and vulnerable and make you appear more loveable and charming. You see at a wedding, chicks are 'happy' for their friend but they're also insanely jealous, for they all ask themselves 'why don't I have a good boyfriend?'. So, the beautiful cocktail of desperation, low self esteem and romance created by Wedding Goggles make weddings the place where you are mostly likely to score, but how exactly do you do it?

Wait a while, you want to give your targets an enough time to get drunk on their own, and their desperation will only increase as time goes on. When the time is right, select your target and move in. One thing to keep in mind is that chicks know guys like to try and get one-night-stands at a wedding, so they will be on alert. So don't make any obvious moves, just talk to her. Your first goal is to cheer her up, which will unfortunately make her share boring stories about guys that you don't really care about. Key phrases to keep in mind while she's doing this are 'that dick!', 'you deserve someone who realises how special you are, 'weddings are hard for everyone, you're happy for your friend but at the same time, you want something like that, but it's so hard to find, I guess that's why it's so special'

Eventually she'll shut up and allow you to take her to the dance floor. By this point she has opened up to you and deeply trusts you. The great thing about the dance floor at a wedding is when a chick is out of breath and in your arms, looking into your eyes, she can't help but naively think she's falling in love. Once your dancing session is over you'll both be tired and will have to sit down. At this point she'll be ready for you to the make the move. She'll probably somehow ask you about what you want your wedding to be like in an attempt to make sure you're not a commintmentphobe. Say something lame like 'as long as my bride's happy, I'm happy' then ask her about her dream wedding. At this point you'll both start naming things you'd want at your wedding, note: 'At least five brides' is not a correct answer. Now say something like 'and we must have a chocolate fountain!', she'll be thrown off by the use of 'we' but also happy, note her surprised reaction and finish off with 'oh, I'm sorry, I don't know were that came from, it's just you make me feel so safe...'. After that, it is on.

E-Mail your questions into ryanslog1459@gmail.com