Wedding Goggles

I often get asked 'Ryan, where am I most likely to get laid?'. The answer? A wedding. See every chick at a wedding is wearing Wedding Goggles, these make them more desperate and vulnerable and make you appear more loveable and charming. You see at a wedding, chicks are 'happy' for their friend but they're also insanely jealous, for they all ask themselves 'why don't I have a good boyfriend?'. So, the beautiful cocktail of desperation, low self esteem and romance created by Wedding Goggles make weddings the place where you are mostly likely to score, but how exactly do you do it?

Wait a while, you want to give your targets an enough time to get drunk on their own, and their desperation will only increase as time goes on. When the time is right, select your target and move in. One thing to keep in mind is that chicks know guys like to try and get one-night-stands at a wedding, so they will be on alert. So don't make any obvious moves, just talk to her. Your first goal is to cheer her up, which will unfortunately make her share boring stories about guys that you don't really care about. Key phrases to keep in mind while she's doing this are 'that dick!', 'you deserve someone who realises how special you are, 'weddings are hard for everyone, you're happy for your friend but at the same time, you want something like that, but it's so hard to find, I guess that's why it's so special'

Eventually she'll shut up and allow you to take her to the dance floor. By this point she has opened up to you and deeply trusts you. The great thing about the dance floor at a wedding is when a chick is out of breath and in your arms, looking into your eyes, she can't help but naively think she's falling in love. Once your dancing session is over you'll both be tired and will have to sit down. At this point she'll be ready for you to the make the move. She'll probably somehow ask you about what you want your wedding to be like in an attempt to make sure you're not a commintmentphobe. Say something lame like 'as long as my bride's happy, I'm happy' then ask her about her dream wedding. At this point you'll both start naming things you'd want at your wedding, note: 'At least five brides' is not a correct answer. Now say something like 'and we must have a chocolate fountain!', she'll be thrown off by the use of 'we' but also happy, note her surprised reaction and finish off with 'oh, I'm sorry, I don't know were that came from, it's just you make me feel so safe...'. After that, it is on.

E-Mail your questions into ryanslog1459@gmail.com

Flings vs Relationships

Every once in a while a man will realise that's it's time to go for something more meaningful than a one-night-stand. Don't worry, I'm not talking about relationships, I'm talking about flings, also known as affairs and casual relationships. So, what exactly is a fling? A fling is a short term, casual and very sexual relationship between two people. Think of it as the prelude to a relationship without the relationship afterwords. A fling usually lasts between a couple of weeks to a couple of months. They begin and consist of dates and sex and usually end with the dreaded relationship talk. 

Unlike relationships flings aren't exclusive meaning you could be snuggling an almost infinite amount of flings and still be having one-night-stands on the side. Awesome. Often with a fling one partner will believe it will be 'going somewhere' (usually the chick) and the guy will be lying to her to make sure she maintains that belief for as long as possible. Unfortunately these flings all come to an end when the chick initiates the relationship talk, which you can recognise by the signature 'were is this relationship gong?'. The relationship talk ends with you chained down to one chick in a relationship or with you singe and ready to move on to the next chick. 

So which is better, flings or relationships. Flings obviously, and here's why:

- No commitment 

- No fights

- Increased sex

- You still get to be single

- Long term lies really turn me on...

Emptying my Sack 1

My E-Mail inbox has been full of responses for almost a year now but I've never taken the opportunity to respond, until now. You've waited long enough, and I apologise for that, but now, I'm finally emptying my sack (mail sack that is). I will be doing this from time to time, answering around three or four E-Mails each time. If an E-Mail is viable for a long response I may answer it in a video. My E-Mail is ryanslog1459@gmail.com 

Some E-Mails have been reworded and altered slightly due to my loathing of bad grammar and spelling.

Dear Ryan,

I love suits, unfortunately my friends don't share my love, that coupled with the price makes it hard to suit up on a regular basis. Are there any cost saving, more socially acceptable alternatives to suiting to up?

 - Eddie 

More socially acceptable alternatives to suiting up? Wearing something that makes you fit in with society is the exact opposite to what suiting up is about. Perhaps the reason your suits are failing you is not because of them, but because of you, your and your poor mentality. As for cost saving, cost is unfortunately equal to quality when it comes to suit, getting a high end quality suit for less than a £1000 can be difficult. Try getting a neutrally coloured suit, then you can mix and match shirts to make it feel new and different.

 - Socially unaccepted yet awesome Ryan

Dear Ryan,

My wingman is a disaster! We both keep striking out and I know it's his fault. He wears brightly coloured Hawaiian shirts, it's impossible to get a girl wearing one! We don't even live in a warm place! How do I tell him there's a problem without hurting his feelings? 

 - Michael

Impossible you say...? Challenge Accepted.

 - Challenged Ryan

Dear Ryan,

My girlfriend is very close with her ex, too close. It makes me uncomfortable but every time I bring it up she accuses me f not trusting her. I don't want to tell her she can't hang out with him but something needs to be done. Advice?

 - Cole

How close is too close? For some of my close friends have been accused of being too close to their former partners when although they were very close, it was purely platonic. 

 - Ex-boyfriend and close friend, Ryan

Dear Ryan,

Has your favourite game changed since you published you list? I believe you are a Deadpool fan after all and he did just get his own game?

 - No Name Given

Dear No name,

Yes actually it has, the top spot on my list has shifted from Assassin's Creed III to The Last of Us, which if you haven't played yet, play it, now. Please provide a name next time though. 

 - Always-without-a-shiv Ryan