Bimbo Delivery Systems

Now I have a pretty bad hangover today (I had to drink a lot to build up the courage to leave the note at Raven's house) so this update isn't going to be very long. Today's modern Bro often gets too tired to go out and pick up chicks. The solution? Bimbo Delivery Systems! No longer must Bros pull out the Playbook and go make up an elaborate charade about themselves every time they want a date. Now you can set up a Bimbo Delivery System or two and simply wait until your booty phone starts ringing.

For those of you who don't know what a bimbo is, first off, da fuck? Second, a bimbo is an attractive girl with a low intelligence. It is similar yet separate from the stereotypical 'dumb blonde'. A Bimbo Delivery System is any long-term technique, that requires no effort once set up, to pick up chicks. My first and most successful Bimbo Delivery System are my Single-Girls Support Group posters stuck up around Mortimer and Witburn Secondary schools. Yep, those girls who are sick of being single phone up to join an anonymous school support group managed by me, a kind hearted guy who understands how hard it is to find someone you can trust. The call is directed to my Booty Phone where I schedule the next 'meeting' with her. However on the night none of the other girls show up because they all met someone, making my target feel alone and successfully lowering her self esteem, because if she's the only single girl left then there must be something wrong with her. After I support her she realizes I'm not like other guys, I actually care and like her for her, not her boobs. And then? It. Is. On. And there you have it, the Bimbo Delivery System.

Once I get my hands on an Auto-Dial machine I will set up my new Bimbo Delivery system, which will send the following pre-recorded message to all girls around my age in my area:

 

*All girls in South Shields go to King Street
*All bimbos believe in love at first sight and destiny